I few minutes after I saw World Cup results were posted to the UCI website, I got a call from my globe-trotting sweetie to share the news first hand.
Jeremiah placed 55th, I knew, and congratulated him but was quickly interrupted with a story of unprecedented course cutting. It turns out that no less than 100 of the 250-rider field jumped off their bikes and ran straight up a hill, instead of riding the switchbacked maze marked by course tape, and saving themselves two or three minutes in the process.
"Where were the UCI officials," I asked.
"They were right there, trying to keep the course markings in place while rider after rider tried to tear through them," Jeremiah explained. "Wells and I got punked."
"Why didn't they start tearing off number plates and disqualifying people left and right?!"
"Our number plates are zipped tied on."
My furious brain frantically searched for an answer to the UCI's problem of blatant course cutting only made worse by the mob mentality of a way-too-full-field of semi-pros and euro-scrubs. One official can't be responsible for returning order to a lawless situation, but to suggest that he can't enforce the rules is irresponsible. Officials love few things. They include power, uniforms and, when necessary, weapons.
I surveyed my immediate thoughts, 'Qualifying heats? Peer-pressure? Barbed-wire? Tazars? '
AH HA! "Spray paint," I yelled!
Each course official should get a full can of day-glow spray paint. When a pack of riders decides to take a shortcut more substantial than a ninja line. The official merely blasts them with some paint and lets them keep riding. Then, when the riders cross the finish line, they will be tallied below the DNF list in the newly introduced GRAFFITI classification. And, after their ride of shame past fans and other racers, they might not feel so proud.
But then again, euro-scrubs love day-glow.
Always thinking,
E Bishop
posted by E Bishop # 11:14 AM 
